This is me (a rhyming poem)

This is me.

I'm hiding behind all these shadows I see.
I'm afraid to embrace all that's in me.
I'm fearful you'll know me just as I am,
tethered and worn. I can't understand.
Listless, breathless, emotionless somedays.
Wondering why I'm so washed away.
Disappointed and bitter- yet so sweet inside.
Lonliness causes these tears that I cry.

I'm sick of this fiction and I want you to know,
this fairytale I'm living, its all just for show.
A pretty face, a big house and a family of five
are simply small things that help me survive.
A dance with my husband, a night on the town
a sense of your normal is what seems so profound.
Something I can't understand, can't even pretend-
is why I can't have the best of both worlds I live in.

I pray and I weep and I scream all inside,
God will you help me to feel more alive?
God will you bless me with feelings of love?
hold me, embrace me with your angels above.
Move me, use me, God, take a chance
Romance me in all of the times that he can't.
I pray for the strength to endure each day,
melting my fears and insecurities away.
I've been blessed with the best
though sometimes cloudy and grey,
breathless, emotionless and so washed away.

Now you know all the fear that I hide.
The bitter-sweet l0nliness that lingers inside.
Look past my softness, its strength that you'll see.
A closer look will show you that
This is just me.

~MICHELLE FINCH~